This was a thought-provoking read, and I appreciate that. If nothing else, posts like this remind us to pause and question—to look at our choices, relationships, and environments with fresh eyes. What is control? What is freedom? And do we always recognize the difference before we’re knee-deep in something that starts to suffocate us?
Your approach with your son really stood out to me—trusting him to make his own decisions on the field instead of micromanaging every move. That’s a powerful way to help him build confidence in himself, and it ties into the bigger picture. Sometimes, we don’t realize we’re being controlled until it’s too late, but if we learn to trust our instincts early on, we can move through life with more clarity.
I definitely like your approach here, Geoff. Playing sports is supposed to be fun for the kids, but parents who yell and shout instructions to their kids constantly are taking the fun out of the game. And nobody, child or adult, likes being controlled or made to feel their opinions mean nothing. We're indiduals with free will, not robots, and it's a shame that's overlooked in churches and a lot of other places. Keep up the great writing!
Thanks so much. I actually asked my son early on... "You know when people shout instructions at you during a game? Can you hear them? Is it helpful?"
He told me very clearly that is was unhelpful and distracting. I've seen parents and coaches have huge arguments with their kids and then tell their kids to stop arguing :-)
Brilliant perspective. Especially the parenting part. May I offer one small distinction? As he prepared to run out on the field, what if you said, “Go have fun. You’ve got this. Trust yourself.” I just wonder if “I trust you” would still prompt him look to you as he moves through the game…and life for that matter. If he makes an error, would he look over to see if you still trust him? That said, in an environment where other parents are behaving as you describe, it feels absolutely right for you to draw the contrast between you and them. So maybe it’s “Go have fun! You’ve got this. I trust you. Most importantly, trust yourself! 😁
Beautiful. Kindred across the seas. Freedom is defined differently for everyone. And most people don’t really know what it is— until they know they don’t have it any longer. Why I write about and stay connected to the carceral system & to the incarcerated. They teach me what it means to be human, and a human wanting to be free. Thanks Geoff.
Geoff,
This was a thought-provoking read, and I appreciate that. If nothing else, posts like this remind us to pause and question—to look at our choices, relationships, and environments with fresh eyes. What is control? What is freedom? And do we always recognize the difference before we’re knee-deep in something that starts to suffocate us?
Your approach with your son really stood out to me—trusting him to make his own decisions on the field instead of micromanaging every move. That’s a powerful way to help him build confidence in himself, and it ties into the bigger picture. Sometimes, we don’t realize we’re being controlled until it’s too late, but if we learn to trust our instincts early on, we can move through life with more clarity.
Much to reflect on—appreciate this post.
—Noah
lovely and thoughtful comment Noah, I truly appreciate it
All I can say is, you nailed it! 👌🏼
thank you Pamela... be free!
I definitely like your approach here, Geoff. Playing sports is supposed to be fun for the kids, but parents who yell and shout instructions to their kids constantly are taking the fun out of the game. And nobody, child or adult, likes being controlled or made to feel their opinions mean nothing. We're indiduals with free will, not robots, and it's a shame that's overlooked in churches and a lot of other places. Keep up the great writing!
Thanks so much. I actually asked my son early on... "You know when people shout instructions at you during a game? Can you hear them? Is it helpful?"
He told me very clearly that is was unhelpful and distracting. I've seen parents and coaches have huge arguments with their kids and then tell their kids to stop arguing :-)
Trust them
Brilliant perspective. Especially the parenting part. May I offer one small distinction? As he prepared to run out on the field, what if you said, “Go have fun. You’ve got this. Trust yourself.” I just wonder if “I trust you” would still prompt him look to you as he moves through the game…and life for that matter. If he makes an error, would he look over to see if you still trust him? That said, in an environment where other parents are behaving as you describe, it feels absolutely right for you to draw the contrast between you and them. So maybe it’s “Go have fun! You’ve got this. I trust you. Most importantly, trust yourself! 😁
I could not agree more Linda. "Trust Yourself" is even better advice, I will incorporate that!
THAT WAS AMAZING 💝
Thank you Kelly!
Nor do I
Good!
A marriage where two people join because they have found the other part of themselves is a beautiful thing. I know.
Well that is beautiful for you Fred!
Beautiful. Kindred across the seas. Freedom is defined differently for everyone. And most people don’t really know what it is— until they know they don’t have it any longer. Why I write about and stay connected to the carceral system & to the incarcerated. They teach me what it means to be human, and a human wanting to be free. Thanks Geoff.
welcome Beth
As a former coach I agree wholeheartedly with your approach to your son. Regarding church, don’t get me started 🤣. Sorry you had that experience!
thanks Henny... Let's not open that can of worms then... :-)