That’s why I don’t go to church anymore.
Freedom to be free.
To anyone who has ever been controlled,
You deserve to be free.
Wildly free. Soaring like a bird.
Free to make your own choices, to build your own life, to stand in your own autonomy.
I spent years in a religion which kept me small, controlled and passive.
Religion would argue that it kept me safe. I would definitively state that a “safe risk-free life” is the most dangerous thing on earth.
Others get controlled within the institution of marriage where two become one and the autonomy of the soul and the freedom of an independent spirit get mollified forever.
You stop chasing your own dreams. You quit building your own life. You cease developing your own unique voice.
This is not love. This is suppression. This is control.
Control happens early. I’ve been watching my 13-year-old son play cricket a lot lately. When he goes out to bat I simply say… “I trust you. Go out there and have fun.”
I see other parents with a different approach…
They angrily yell instructions at their child every step of the way. When their kid makes a mistake, the first thing the child does is look anxiously to the sideline, to their controller to see what they should do next.
I hate it.
If that my own son, I would be deeply disappointed. I want him to trust himself. He’s the one out there staring down the bowler. He’s the one who holds the bat. He’s the one that makes the runs. Not me, I’m just watching.
Some would call this need to control their child “supporting.” I would say that they need therapy.
Attempting to control another human being is simply a way of avoiding taking responsibility for your own life.
There is no life to be found, no joy, no true satisfaction or sense of accomplishment to be grabbed ahold of when we manipulate or control another human being.
No freedom to be found here.
Control makes us smaller. It makes us weaker. It makes us all more passive.
There is no respect in control. No need to listen. No need to learn. No need to be curious. Just shut-up and do it my way.
It’s very sad.
That’s why I don’t go to church anymore.
It’s what I despise married couples swapping last names and becoming each other’s property.
It’s why, I refuse to tell other people what to do all the time.
It’s why I cannot work for a large corporation or an employer anymore.
Freedom has a price but falling under the control of another is far more expensive.
Work hard to be free.
Much love
Geoff
A marriage where two people join because they have found the other part of themselves is a beautiful thing. I know.
Beautiful. Kindred across the seas. Freedom is defined differently for everyone. And most people don’t really know what it is— until they know they don’t have it any longer. Why I write about and stay connected to the carceral system & to the incarcerated. They teach me what it means to be human, and a human wanting to be free. Thanks Geoff.