You've sat on my head and squashed my dreams

To my fat-bottomed toxic fiend

To my fat-bottomed toxic fiend,

For far too long you’ve sat on my head and squashed my dreams.

Enough.

You’ve sucked the oxygen out of the room and turned all of the attention onto you. It felt like there was never any space for me.

No breath. No time. Energy given out and none returned.

Painful stuff. A toxic relationship.

An untimely realization that hit me at 4am this morning.

All of this is my fault.

My poor choices.

My enabling.

I guess I did not know any better at the time and yet I know better now.

So much so, I’ve created a little diagram below to explain it all to you… If for once in your god-damned life you care to listen.

Figure 1: The Gap Between You and Your Dreams

The Land Of Dreams

Every person has dreams. Every single one.

Some dreams sleep way down deep but they are buried down there somewhere.

You have your dreams also. Hidden below at the furtherest reaches of your soul; underneath a thick layer of shit and despondency.

Every person on earth wants:

• Health

• Love

• Respect

• Connection

• Wealth

• Fun

And yet in normal life our dreams can feel so very far away. Impossible even.

I’ve felt like this for the longest time.

I reach for my dreams but I cannot quite lift up my arms. No matter how hard I try, I just cannot get there… They are always just at the edge of my fingertips.

For the longest time I thought the problem was me.

That I wasn’t smart enough, strong enough, creative enough or good-looking enough. Lately I started believing the greatest lie of all… that my time for dreaming had passed. That I am too old.

It’s not true though - The time for dreaming big is always now.

And recently, I’ve found the true solution to the problem of these very draining and toxic relationships.

Toxic fiend, this is the actual reason for me sitting down at my desk and writing you this letter; to let you know that I’ve found a concrete way that guarantees I reach all of my dreams.