The Night I Killed My Doubt

I prayed, and no one came to save me.

What’s your view on religion? What do you believe about life?

I couldn’t sleep last night, and this question was dogging me, chasing my soul like a rabid Rottweiler down a dark back alley.

The essential existential human questions…

Why am I here? What’s the reason behind all of this?

I‘ve been too uncertain for too long. I left my faith years ago, and it’s left me unsure, wavering, caught in a sea of doubt.

Everyone thinks they are right; theirs is the one true way.

I’m jealous of such foolish certainty. I’m envious that they have settled the matter while I’m still pacing around my bedroom in the dark, trying to sort out my beliefs like an adolescent teenager.

Whatever your beliefs in life, uncertainty is always a killer.

Being consistently unsure.

Dabbling daily with doubt.

It renders a human being half powerless.

In my sleepy state at 1:19 AM last night, I decided to eliminate all my uncertainty and move forward with power, to make a choice.

Where do I stand in a world with competing beliefs? What do I believe?

Surely this is my sacred responsibility as a human being.

My certainty is that I am called to live an empowered life and to take full responsibility for my own life and my choices.

The distractions are everywhere.

The potential to blame others, to make excuses, will always exist.

The temptation to hit “snooze” on personal responsibility and wait for the government, an angel, or some divine being to rescue me, elevate me, or propel me to my dreams will always be present.

For myself, for me, in my experience… religion has often been a call to being passive, to half-living, to a dependency on beings or spirits that don’t always help.

It has made me more present in my life… it has made me less present, and more asleep to taking action.

I don’t believe this is the case for everybody.

I know that others have different stories.

Everyone is on their own journey, and that is incredible, amazing, and wonderful.

Know that I write these words at a time when I am paradoxically needing more help than ever to build the life that I believe I was destined to live.

Here’s my statement of belief today:

I am solely responsible for my own life.

I am 10,000% committed to helping other people live the biggest and best life that they can live in an extremely chaotic world.

I believe that every particle in the universe bends and is drawn towards goodness, kindness, and love.

I choose to bend towards these same forces with every part of my body.

The commitment I make today is unwavering. I will not go back to the old ways of believing. I will not return.

I am not vaguely exploring this or that anymore.

I’m saying no to doubt, and yes to living the fullest, brightest, and biggest life today.

Yeah, I am responsible for:

• Every single thought

• All my beliefs

• Every action

• All my choices

• Every relationship and conversation that I find myself in.

There is too much life to be lived to choose anything else.

My commitment to this way of living will be unwavering going forward. It may cost me friends, followers, clients… and it will hurt, but that’s okay.

Stick with me. If you can, stick with me.

The evidence will become clear.

You will bear witness to:

A more open Geoff
A kinder soul
A more inspiring human
A far more helpful coach
Less judgment and way more love

I am just grateful that the rabid Rottweiler of doubt is no longer chasing me down this back alley of life.

This is my path; yours is most likely different.

If you resonate with this — if owning your truth, taking full responsibility for the footsteps you take in this life… if this describes you?

Then a huge welcome to you.

SPHERE is all about empowering people to build their own lives. Helping you to create stacks of beauty, monuments of goodness, mountains of greatness.

You have one life.

One incredible opportunity to build something amazing.

Let’s grab it with both hands.

Sending you all so much love.

G. x

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