One line stood out to me. “Years of abuse.” It stopped me cold. Do you mean he was abusing himself…or abusing you? I ask because I know someone who endured years of abuse from his father but continued to brand him as a good and kind man shortly after he passed away. I couldn’t (and still can’t) understand how his death was able to wash away years of childhood pain. When he praises his father, I let him speak but I choose not to comment. Reading your post, I felt compelled to ask.
Timely post for a friend in my life who lost his mentor this week and was talking about showing emotion as weakness. I told him that men openly grieving one another is not weakness. I feel like our modern culture has lost that connection to healing grief and mourning among men. Thank you for posting🙏
I tried to comment and was sent to an upgrade page. What I remember as a child of the 70’s was just that. Men do not cry. That is a sign of weakness. I want to believe that men have more evolved emotional intelligence today.
This is a deeply moving piece. It makes me think of the generations of men who grew up believing that it was wrong to cry. That to be a pillar of strength meant not showing any vulnerability. I don't think I ever saw my father shed a tear either, though I know there must have been times he wanted to. So grateful that this stigma is changing thanks to those who see that vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness. Thank you for sharing your story.
One line stood out to me. “Years of abuse.” It stopped me cold. Do you mean he was abusing himself…or abusing you? I ask because I know someone who endured years of abuse from his father but continued to brand him as a good and kind man shortly after he passed away. I couldn’t (and still can’t) understand how his death was able to wash away years of childhood pain. When he praises his father, I let him speak but I choose not to comment. Reading your post, I felt compelled to ask.
Oh no he was a terrific father who struggled with his emotions. He had a rough child, physical abuse
Timely post for a friend in my life who lost his mentor this week and was talking about showing emotion as weakness. I told him that men openly grieving one another is not weakness. I feel like our modern culture has lost that connection to healing grief and mourning among men. Thank you for posting🙏
you are so welcome, I am sorry for your friends loss, it is hard, it's also not binary we can grieve and show resilience
I tried to comment and was sent to an upgrade page. What I remember as a child of the 70’s was just that. Men do not cry. That is a sign of weakness. I want to believe that men have more evolved emotional intelligence today.
that is weird, obviously you were able to comment in the end... sorry about that. I believe the same as you... It still exists a bit though
I think that there are some of us boomers that may be still stuck in that attitude or mind set. Those were different times.
yes, i agree... Being vulnerable can be hard
Testing
Strong men become stronger through tears, not fears.
love that, so true
Even the strongest bodies are humbled by tears, they don’t weaken the frame, they sanctify it. 🙏
This is a deeply moving piece. It makes me think of the generations of men who grew up believing that it was wrong to cry. That to be a pillar of strength meant not showing any vulnerability. I don't think I ever saw my father shed a tear either, though I know there must have been times he wanted to. So grateful that this stigma is changing thanks to those who see that vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness. Thank you for sharing your story.
you are welcome, very kind of you to say so
I'm so sorry about your father. I guess that's a lesson for the male population. Sometimes there is no way out of the dam. Thank you for sharing! 🙏💔
I was blessed to have him as my father. He did the best he could, and he softened as he aged. Thanks so much for commenting
Beautiful, just beautiful!
thank you so much