We don’t see all of someone(s) face, there is so much we do not see..
I am sure this post will alienate some.
You probably won’t like the side of my face that I choose to let you see.
Judge me but know you only see one part.
I grew up in the Baptist church in New Zealand.
I listened to Christian radio (a lot), a good portion of it was broadcast from the USA.
My Friday nights were spent at youth group.
I spent much of my youth trying to (often unsuccessfully) do anything that would not embarrass my mother.
My young impressionable mind was given a narrow framework to follow and a set of rules to live by.
I was also as judgmental as fuck.
I think I knew this was wrong, even at a young age.
It didn’t feel very positive to be the judgmental, self-righteous kid. It did not seem so kind. It carried with it a kind of moral superiority… I was safe. They were in danger.
There were two types of people in this world:
A. Christian
B. Non Christian
Saved and those who need saving. I guess that you could say that I was accidentally indoctrinated by people who ardently believed this way of thinking and living would keep me safe.
I don’t believe this anymore.
I have not believed this for quite some time.
I would never raise my own children in this way.
For I looked in the mirror and I saw other sides to my own face.
And I looked into the eyes of gay strangers, and I saw so much more than I had been taught.
I looked onto the face of my Muslim friend, and saw not an infidel but a boy who loved his mother.
I saw a big wide beautiful world, full of people who were finding and expressing the absolure beauty of who they were in a myriad of different ways.
I realized that what I had been taught was the most dangerous thjng of all.
That people needed to be controlled, homogenised, whipped into line… saved to make the world straight.
This way of thinking robbed me of countless opportunities to learn, to connect and to understand other people without judgment… and to have them understand and love me also.
Making the world smaller in this way is an incredibly dangerous thing to do.
It’s a world that is to afraid to be curious
It’s a world that is hell bent on being correct rather than simply connecting
It’s world full of unnecessary agendas
The good news is, if there is a God in heaven he was not content to leave me stuck in my adolescent bigotry…
My entire adult life has been filled up with people who are very different than me.
Almost the majority of my clients are gay
Some of them are evangelicals
I have a biracial family
I have Muslim friends
I have spent hours on the streets of Los Angeles talking to homeless people.
I am still learning though.
I am learning everyday about the true beauty that exist inside of every human.
It’s always there, although in some it is buried very very deep.
Under layers of various kinds of shit that was put upon us as children
We can make the world better but we don’t need a savior.
We just need to open our own hearts and let go of our agenda.
I hope you like this side of my face.
Much love
G.x