I owe my children a big apology
For years, they watched me survive instead of live. That ends now.
i used to think I didn’t matter…
weird, I know.
sucked into this notion that a parent is supposed to surrender their entire lives for their children.
after all they are dependent on me right?
i am sure some of the moms and dads reading this post can relate… Did you lose touch with your own goals when you became a parent?
perhaps it’s just me. I recorded a training video about it for our 3-Word Goals Ecosystem.
here’s a sneak peak of an apology that I filmed to my kids below:
if you don’t have time for the video, then know this: I believed a bunch of lies.
firstly, I believed that sacrifice by default = bravery.
secondly, I believed that to be ambitious was to be selfish.
thirdly and most controversially, I believed that my children must come first.
underneath this all, there was a plan to make my own life small enough so there was enough room in “the house” for everyone.
but smallness doesn’t serve anyone.
and me letting go of my dreams, and the full expression of who I am, sets a terrible example for my children.
I don’t think I am alone here - but tell me if I am wrong?
many of us are not living the big, full lives that we know we are supposed to live because of the apparent burden of responsibility…
i think we use it as an excuse?
have your children ever asked you not to take a risk?
have they ever begged you to be more dull and less ambitious?
did they put in a request with God for you to live half-a-life on their behalf?
Your children want to see you fully alive…
it’s not our words that sway our children or influence those who are watching. It’s the lives we live.
they notice big, bold, brave acts of determination.
they notice ambition in the face of incredible odds.
they applaud audacious acts of kindness that make no logical sense.
let’s agree to quit playing small and go after a very big life in 2026.
This hit home. Our kids don’t need smaller versions of us, they need to see what “fully alive” looks like. The apology becomes a promise when we start living it.
This is not a post it’s a reckoning whispered through love. Geoff’s apology isn’t weakness; it’s the courage to unlearn silence. He speaks for every parent who mistook self-erasure for devotion, who shrank so their children might stretch. But children don’t need shadows they need light. His words tremble with regret, but also with renewal: the promise to live fully, not just survive. To show his children that dreams aren’t selfish they’re sacred. That ambition, when rooted in love, becomes legacy. This is a father choosing aliveness over martyrdom. And in doing so, he teaches the most vital lesson of all: that joy is not a betrayal of duty it’s its deepest fulfilment.