Golf balls in the mud

Dedicated to my friend Alex

A Letter to Anyone Who Feels Stuck Right Now,

WARNING: This story might not make much sense until you get to the end.

My father was extremely tight with money, and he hated Guy Fawkes.

For the Americans among our thousands of readers, Guy Fawkes is an annual celebration on November 5th that most colonial countries still celebrate.

We buy loads of fireworks and build bonfires in remembrance of Guy Fawkes, a man from York who tried to blow up the House of Lords in Great Britain in 1605.

My father hated Guy Fawkes not for political reasons but simply because he thought that buying colorful fireworks was tantamount to the burning of money.

My father was a wise man. However, small boys love things that make loud bangs and shoot sparks up into the sky.

So if he wasn’t going to buy us fireworks, then I sure as a hell had to find a way to get them.

I was stuck. How can you get money at 12 years of age?

Two things for background info: We lived next to a golf course, and most of the holes on that golf course were lined with a mangrove swamp.

My close childhood friend Alex (R.I.P) and I discovered that the local golf professional paid $2 for every good quality used golf-ball presented to him.

Thus began the great golf-ball hunt.

Wearing nothing but little shorts, bare feet, and singlets, with a couple of carry bags, Alex and I trolled the swamps looking for golf balls for hours on end.

There was gold to be found, and we made so much money. I am not sure that Guy Fawkes was ever celebrated so deeply or with so much fervor.

Here’s the thing: often, we feel stuck because another human being with more power is blocking us.

It could be a partner, a parent, a boss, a selector, a funder, or an investor, and yet their NO does not have to be your reality.

I’ve coached, mentored, and consulted thousands of clients over the past 10 years, and there is always, I repeat always, a way to solve every single problem.

Whatever your problem, I promise you there is a way through it.

Most likely, it won’t happen through convincing the person who is blocking you to change their mind, though. Instead, you need to change.

It’s not lost on me that in my story above, the answer to getting unstuck was to find a friend and to wallow through ankle-deep mud.

Perhaps you don’t like mud; it’s kind of like problems, filthy, tiring, and nearly always involves some kind of unforgettable adventure… memorable.

Mud. Getting into it and getting through it, there lies the answer to everything.

Thirty years later, I received a message to say that Alex, the best friend that I had as a child, had been diagnosed with stomach cancer in his early 40s. He died 30 days later.

I often think of Alex, the delight in his eyes as he found a brand new Top-Flite golf ball buried 12 inches down in the thickest, blackest mud you’ve ever seen.

Or I see the reflection of the bonfire, glistening into the sheen of his excited eyes.

Or I remember us both giggling as we hid behind trees and watched golfers furiously searching for golf-balls that were already in our pockets.

Friendships are found in mud.

Your problems are an invitation into deeper relationships. This has always been the case.

I want to see you thrive. I appreciate you reading this post so much.

Much love
Geoff

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P.S. If you are feeling stuck, if you feel like you are banging your head against the same old ceiling... then it is time to fly.

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P.P.P.P.P.S If you have read all these PS's, you are a truly great person. Leave a comment.